Like Mother, Like Daughter

Finding a creative way to get in and out of a home has become a new "hobby" of mine. The other day, my mom and I went out to dinner and when we got home, with both of our luck combined, we were locked out of the house. Of course. For some reason, my mom had decided to lock the garage door to the house knowing both of us didn't have keys to it.

After trying to pick the lock to the door for about 15 minutes, my mom says 5 oh so familiar words, "we'll have to break in." For my friends that know me, they know how skilled I am in breaking into homes, actually, skilled maybe an under statement, I break shit.

Flashback to my old townhouse that I lived at in Virginia. One night I got home after a vigorous night of drinking. It was around 3 am, and I was HAMMERED, all I wanted to do was crawl into bed and pass out while in my drunken stooper (is that right?). I got dropped off at my house, got my keys out of my purse, and stumbled up my steps to the front door. I unlock the door and turn the nob, as I push the door, I bash my head as it suddenly stops. I look up to see that the door had been pad locked. Thanks roomie. Not giving a hoo-haa (a word I took from a mommy blog), I rang the doorbell like a madwoman. Because I am the worst drunk dialer, my phone was dead, and I had no way of getting in touch with any of my roommates who were fast asleep inside the house, or so I thought. All oh a sudden I see a shadow walk across my roommate's bedroom window. I start chucking rocks at it, to get their attention, but of course, she doesn't care and just disregards my desire to come in and go to bed.

After 20 minutes of trying to wake someone up in my home, I sat down on the front steps to try and come up with another plan, but instead... started falling asleep. REFUSING to sleep outside on in my lawn (which I have apparently done before), I took matters to the next level. I opened the door, and as hard as I could I threw my shoulder through the door. Surprisingly enough, breaking the door wsn't too difficult. I walked into my house and giggled to myself at what I had just done, and when I turned around to look at the damage, it was more than I had expected, which made me break out in my obnoxious loud laugh. Because the door was pad locked, I had ripped the lock out of the wall along with the entire side panel. Feeling accomplished and still drunk, I shrugged my shoulders while staring at the panel on the floor, closed the door, locked the nob and walked down to my dungeon room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hope you enjoyed my little flashback to my college days. But onto the rest of the story. Knowing how terrible breaking in could turn into, I told my mom to go to a neighbors house to borrow a ladder. I knew there had to have been a window open somewhere on the 2nd floor. My room. Duh, I always snuck out of the window that had no screen to "gaze at the stars" on my roof. Great times, great times. Anyway, so my kind neighbor (who wasn't too kind when we were little), lent us his ladder, and I climbed up onto my roof. My mom had locked the window that I would go out of to get onto the roof, so I resulted in tearing the screen of the window next to it. The screen is ruined of course, but at least we got in the house.

Breaking and entering, an art passed down from mother to daughter.

Ryan Kish said it best the other day when he wrote a comment on my post:

"You're life really does need to be a reality show."


Thank you for realizing this, but I have been saying it the past 5 years I have known you. NBC, ABC, FOX, draft up a contract, I'm going to be a STAR!